I did it again… I fell into the abyss of my YouTube feed! Mindfulness video after vegan video after travel video after cooking video and again aback to mindfulness videos…
Eyes wide open and mind tightly shut, I’m longing to be as confident, creative and efficient as the channels I follow. I begin to doubt the validity of my own “unknown” successes.
Wait! Stop! I count slowly, “One, two, three…” I use my self-discipline to click off the phantoms on the screen, after the count of “3”. I grab my jasmine green tea and put pen to thought as I begin my sanity check…
Our place, in this world, has now become synonymous with – an online presence. Why? What does it mean to have an experience not shared? Does the good I do still matter if no one sees? Am I still proud, if no one else approves or bothers to notice my efforts?
Time and time again, I challenge my actions with my truest of intentions in order to find my soul’s authenticity. I worry that a longing for attention or lack of self-love or inadequacies fuel our motivations. Round and round we go.
The state of humanity is in full bloom and, I believe, on the brink of budding into the highest level of consciousness known. At long last, we are arriving home. However, the collective ego is the greatest opposition to our growth. I worry that we are in-prisoned, inside ourselves, inside our longing.
Why do we ache with loneliness; why do we suffer; why do we seek validation? Author and Speaker, Charles Eisenstein has stated “we suffer because we are separated”. What are we separated from? The simplest of answers, yet the most profound of realizations – God. We have grown to believe that “this is you and this is me”, that “this is them and this is us”, that “this is mine and this is yours”. This is, the greatest lie, the ego has ever told us.
Social media disguises itself as togetherness, community building and virtual bonding. Yet, it is a drug that takes us to highs and brings us spiraling down into lows. During my own bouts with genetic anxiety and depression, is when I reach out for connection the most, even though my mind would rather I stay isolated in the pain. “Separation fuels anxiety” is another of Eisenstein’s claims and I can agree.
Are our social media accounts a cry for help? Do we use it to fill the void of separation? How long can we live without this drug?
Beyond the claims made in the documentary, “The Social Dilemma”, what is this medium doing to the human spirit? And can we survive this wall-to-wall barrage of influencers, content creators, trendsetters and brand ambassadors telling us we can do better? And, are they, really doing better?
I ponder these points as I sip the last mouthfuls of my jasmine green tea. Sitting in my kitchen, I feel whole. I feel, important. I feel successful. I feel satisfied – and no one is here to see it. I am pleased.